Tryinghard. We sound so much alike. I supported my husband to the highest degree. I accepted long work hours, missing kids‘ school and sports events, etc because he was supporting the family. With the exception of mowing, I took on all the household duties. I never even asked him to “watch” the kids for me. If I had to go somewhere or do something (read: doctor’s appt, I didn’t do things just for me) I found someone to babysit. At the time it seemed normal. it’s just the way it was. I even set his clothes out for him each morning and put a clean towel on the rack. Little loving gestures. He can see now that HE is the one who gradually created the distance by letting someone else in emotionally and eventually physically. it is painful for him now. He misses all those loving gestures that I can’t seem to muster up the emotional energy to do right now. He sees clearly NOW what he had.

Hello! It has been a long time since i visited this site. However today i was pulled. Reading your comments, I realised one common thing from betrayed wives: we tend to focuse on physical appearance of OW. It is important for us not to focuse on that, because infidelity’s main reason is emotional, self- centered, self-serving and manipulative. And because of that the wrap of the package is not the indicator, but most importantly the package verificar a minha fonte in itself. Therefore, all the participants lack self-reflection, self-restraint, they are like spoilt children doing whatever makes them temporarily feel good without thinking about consequences for them and/or effect it has on people around them.

Rag Mags tell us how to be beautiful, sexy etc to attrack our prince charming

Another aspect is that cheaters tend to have troubled childhood: parents with their own issues, etc. And that comes out at some point in their lives, and cheaters self-pity, self -centeredness exceeds leading to infidelity. And as someone said above, only people with low values get envolved with married people. They are mirror images of the emotional state of cheaters.

After her mother finally divorced him, she started going out to bars often and having lots relationships with different men and bringing them home

It is really important to not compare us to OW or OM: it is not even worth wasting our breath and time on something not defining us! Have wonderful weekend!

Hi Lea, I agree with some of your comments, but I don’t think my wife (CS) had a troubled childhood. She has explained that it was pure selfishness for her to have the EA. She admits she thought of no one’s feelings but hers and his … She lived for the excitement and ego boost. I am extremely thankful that she snapped out of it right away and turned all her energy to me.

My ex had some trouble in her childhood. Her father was an alcoholic and a cheater. He was also emotionally unavailable to his family…would rather be out drinking with his buddies. My ex never had a healthy relationship with her father. My ex saw all of this while she was growing up.

Xterra and Descimated I really feel for you guys because I think you have it harder. You need to know that women put A LOT more into the fantasy than the cheating men. We learn this from childhood. Cinderella blah blah blah. Hell it was on the news the other day that women going to Princeton should be looking for a husband as well as their degree while there because that was the BEST chance of finding the “right” guy. Women will leave the marriage emotionally before getting into an affair. It is really too difficult for a woman to compartmentalize and share their emotions with two people like I believe and have read, that men seem to be able to do. We are focused on relationships. I’m sure there’s some that will disagree with my generalizing and stereotyping so I am only speaking generally for women. Xterra sounds like this is true for your W. You are lucky and I HOPE she’s not still fantasizing about the OM. I’m just sayin…